Toilet Jeff

- Toilet Jeff is the owner of the second oldest estate in all of Cloumbus county, the oldest being Barb's
- However, rather than living in this estate, he lives beneath it
- While the USSR was still in power, Jeff discovered an elaborate series of interconnected tunnels constructed beneath his backyard
- Some time ago, probably during the premiership of Brezhnev, Jeff fled underground
- He has conducted this subterranean existence for nigh on 3 decades at this point
- Believes that the USSR is still in power and that since his descent underground it has actually ascended to the status of sole world superpower
- Most believe that Toilet Jeff has long met his end, which is in many ways the truth
- Perhaps there are many contradictory but equally valid truths when one considers the parable of Toilet Jeff
- Referred to as Toilet Jeff because he can only be contacted via the pipes linking the toilets of his above-ground property to the septic tank beneath it
- Unclear how and where Toilet Jeff's bodily functions are carried out
- Unclear if Toilet Jeff has a body at all
- Jeff had gone without any human contact for multiple decades before he was accidentally contacted by Sid and co. after Cleetus took a piss in his toilet
- Still thirsts occasionally for Cleetus' pee, claims that it has miraculous curative properties
- Other than Sid, he is only known fan of Svek Olaf Brokvel
- When questioned as to why he retreated underground, his reasons vary from the threat of immanent nuclear war to something about "rural surveillance"

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