Larz "The Condor" Shartel

- Head a great time in high school
- Captain of the football team, class president, big glasses
- Also one of the strangest people Flat Sid has ever met
- Isn't allowed to drink the milk at Sid's house, has to bring his own milk
- Has attempted the gallon challenge five times, never successful but often speaks of the 'milk shits'
- Pro-waterboarding, cuz he's done it and doesn't see what the big deal is
- Plays tuba, only listens to Wu-Tang but also loves Queen
- Father is a traveling pastor
- Played Shrek to Derek's donkey, the roles they were born to play
- Angling to become a subsistute teacher at the high school he went to
- Calls the current principal by his first name to try and "get his foot in the door"
- Good at marching, bad at standing
- Bad at rapping, responds well to criticism
- Racist?
- Upper-medium quality 'cue, inherited from his father
- 4'10"

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