Jim Chrust

- close-up magic
- we're talking way close
- also #1 unlicensed arcane retailer in the county
- often seen performing and selling his wares near the trailer park
- frequently spotted in the graveyard
- not allowed within 3000 feet of the local high school
- celebrates the day of his own birth as "Chrustmas", believes that his mother is a virgin
- one time Cleetus saw Jim in the bathroom in The American Eagle
- You can see in because the door doesn't lock and always hangs ajar
- Cleetus watched Jim rise from the toilet, turn around, and stick his head back into the bowl to hawk a loogie
- It might have been one of those real sticky ones and maybe Jim didn't want to miss but his head was way in there
- Cleetus speculates that Jim may do this regularly


meanwhile, on an adjacent plane of reality, it's FIST LAD UNIVERSE

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