Jacques Mé

- Prominent French Theorist, Cultural Critic, Sociopolitical-economist, Spanker
- Member of long tradition of French thinkers who enjoy a good spankin
- Descried for controversial position that god is not dead, but merely invisible
- Many believe that his innovative theories concerning "deconstitution" are derivative at best; his more vehement critics use language not appropriate for reproduction in any form
- Known for his orifice-centric treatises and seminars
- One of the only avid anti-narcfascist thinkers in the modern philosophical landscape
- Jacques Me's most well-known work is his seminal lecture "On Ass: A pair of stars is born; the spirits of the king and the chairman of the board live on"
- A lot of this lecture was concerned with a critique of Freud's positioning of the 'anal stage' in the process of the subject's mental development
- Instead of placing the "anal stage" before the "oral stage" (as Freud does), Jacques Mé insists that the "anal stage" is in fact the subsequent stage of infant development
- Thus one of his many famous aphorisms, "never mouth-to-ass; always ass-to-mouth"
- Later revised his own theories in the subsequent seminar, in which he claims that there are in fact two "anal stages" in infant development, and accordingly that "the subject must by necessity go ass-to-ass"
- This lecture was first delivered to a group of dedicated students in an underground masterclass, many of whom claimed the visceral nature of it's presentation "took them by the taints"
- This lecture was given at a state university in the next county over, at which Jacques Mé supposed holds a professorship
- When pressed for further information about the institution which employs him, Jacques Mé generally mumbles his responses just below the register of clear audibility
- This seminal lecture was Sid's summer reading during the summer of his seventh grade year
- He understood very little about the esoteric theories expounded therein, but remembers that it sure did give him some notions about 'butt stuff'
- Jacques Mé owns a private psychiatric practice in town, immediately nextdoor to Davvus Home Entertainment Enterprises
- Jacques Mé once did a shit the size of a small dog. Everybody knows because he talks about it in like every seminar
- Supposedly has the cleanest orifices for miles around
- Recipient of the first annual 2015 Publitzer Prize in Psychology
- Is read by Dr. Dunsk; Dr. Ken Tuggler sees in him a formidable rival
- The extent of Jacques Mé's involvement in the production of the erotic sensation Ass-to-Ass is ambiguous, but there has been speculation on the part of many that some connection may exist in light of the correspondence between the film's content and his own theories

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