Barb

- Barb lives in an antique three-story house across from the railroad tracks
- Barb's house is the oldest in the county and is thus an official heritage site, which she's mad as hell about
- All of the floors in her house slope downwards in the middle
- Barb's husband is either non-existent or extremely reclusive; nobody is sure which is the case
- Used to own her own business called "Barb's Baked Goods"
- She has since retired, but rents out her upstairs rooms to local suckers in order to maintain an income
- Can't stand noise
- has been known to take shit to small claims court
- Very refined though tragically under-appreciated skill on the grill
- Her 'cue is respectable in a subtle and almost secretive fashion; for Barb, it's all in the undertones and aftertaste
- Mostly hangs out on the porch and cooks meat
- In the winter, however, she generally hangs out inside and makes baked goods
- Lives near a very cool swamp, in close proximity to Moira
- Barb and Moira hang out occasionally but Barb talks a lot of shit and Moira's pretty sure Barb lowkey thinks she sucks
- Barb is the premier shit-talkeress of Cloumbus County
- Barb and her hateful ways are the subject of many thinkpieces in the town herald periodical
- Barb holds weekly "salon-style" gatherings on her ancient, sinking front porch where she hangs with the retired firemen and other of the county's more grisly residents
- This exclusive group (of which Dog Tom and Mr. Brick are members) can out-drink and out-grill anyone in Cloumbus
- Barb prefers to keep her circle tight and private


meanwhile, on an adjacent plane of reality, it's FIST LAD UNIVERSE

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