Rip Van Winkle High School

- only high school in all of Cloumbus county
- probable residence of "Big Dog" Lutz
- Sid lives in the next county over where his Dad is a mayor
- but his dad sends him to school in the next county over so that he won't embarrass him and thereby ruin his chances for re-election
- many of Sid's best friends, such as Cleetus and Derek are also students here
- the school is named after the dumb Washington Irving short story where a guy meets gnomes in the woods and then falls asleep for twenty years
- because of this the school's mascot is a fucked up gnome
- the shortest kid in the school is the one who has to wear the gnome costume at various sporting events, most notably the pep rally
- rumor has it that Mr. Brick has diddled the last 4 gnomes but there is no conclusive evidence and nobody will come forward
- most of the adults in the county, such as Moira or Dr. Dunsk attended the school in their day
- when asked about his time at Rip Van Winkle, Dunsk frequently slips into a sort of vague hysteria from which he is often unable to escape for the duration of a few hours
- Jim Chrust is legally forbidden from coming within 3000 feet of the high school following what is now referred to as "The Enchrustening"
- Sid once ran a small-time gambling ring out of his geometry class with one Ryan Brandon
- Ryan would just sit there and trade stocks on his phone with sunglasses on and his fuckin gold wristwatch like a jackass
- They started getting people to bet on when this one stoner kid would come in late every day cuz at that point the teacher was just showing them wilderness documentaries
- This was remedial geometry
- They just started texting the kid when to come in and scammed the class out of 30 or 40 bucks
- Mr. Willary was gambling too and never caught on
- Chumps


too many words? try FIST LAD UNIVERSE

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